Shake ’em off…


I have very few white friends… I can actually count on one hand my white friends… (Note… My parents are white… If you didn’t know… and in turn they have 3 biological children who seem to have modeled after the following blog)

One thing I have noticed… all my white friends have one thing in common…
the ideal 50’s suburban life… They all are married with kids, and/or on their way there.
In terms of single white friends I only have one, but in all fairness she was in a relationship for the past 3 years, and it ended on a good note… but didn’t end marriage… which is the ultimate goal? Or is it?

My other single white friends, I decided to introduce them to each other and sure enough,
they are now together… and happily on the route towards the wedding alter. 
In terms of my white friends, I only have one white guy friend… He was raised in a moderate conservative christian family…He is educated, and ridiculously tall… which would make sense for him to be into
my tall white girlfriend who comes from a political family, and is a darling. The two
were made for each other…

Sooo… does this mean I will lose another friend to the cause of marriage?
I hope not. If there is one thing I have learned, married people are quite different from single people, and when they have kids, the quality of friendship is changed forever. As they now
care about diaper genies, and gymboree, what preschool their kid will
get into, that is their new life… 
For example my sister (white) all she does all day is post pictures and videos
of her baby on Facebook. Actually, now that I think of it… that is what
all of my married friends do… white or not. 

That is their business…My life still is consumed with alcohol, smoking, sex,
first dates, blogging and my career. So, what next? As single people my age are either
gay, consumed with work, or socially inept… it leaves me wondering
what it will be like in five years, when I am 30… and all of my now single
friends are either married, dead, or living in Colorado?
It’s funny how life changes… The concept of family radically changes as you grow older. 
More importantly, I have changed. Creating a family seems to be the ideal goal of almost
every Christian household… In a gay household… family is important… but your furniture
is probably more important.

I was recently told by my father that I could no longer talk about religion, my sexuality,
or politics with my mom unless he is present. I don’t think this is a sign of weakness,
or a lack of an opinion, but ironically it defeats the idea of individuality. In my defense,
should I be able to bring a support team when having a conversation with my parents?

More importantly, I have the opportunity to go back to Chicago this week, and it’s
funny… The Christmas after “the fall out” I spent it in Chicago… alone… smoking
on the 11th floor in Rivernorth looking out my window at the river and the lights…
This made me think of this entry…

Life is so much easier when you are alone. Yes, it sucks not having someone to cuddle with,
or constantly call, or text. But, at the same token relationships with anyone can be extremely
exhausting…  The ironic thing… is for a long time… because of my family’s belief system…
all I wanted to ever be was a housewife… A glamorous one…that is for sure… But after
failed relationships, great relationships, one night stands, and the dating… I have
really come to the conclusion that life is A LOT easier being alone…

It makes me wonder if the men who have one night stands, who don’t want relationships hold
the secret to life. Yes, they are called bachelors… but look at George Clooney? 
Can I really be content with being single my whole life?
Yeah, that wouldn’t stop me from having kids…

Can a career really keep you warm at night? Sure… if your career lets you 
afford a Chanel Fur jacket. 

Is it enough to have some friends you get along with and occasionally meet for drinks?
Can we beat human nature’s need for being wanted? Sure, we 
are wanted by our peers, by our careers, our passions…

I look at great men from history… They were all alone, well maybe except lincoln…
but even then people question his sexuality… 

Has my family turned me off so much to the idea of family that I don’t want 
any part of it? Have I become jaded by failed relationships? Is this just me
sick of seeing everyone’s Facebook posts about family, loved ones, and friends? I mean 
yes they are nice… but half the time it is bitching…
Can someone really be content in just being a housewife?
Can someone be content in living a selfish life?

sure. why not?


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