in bed with… yellow like asian… MACHISMO


In be with… well me.
I have decided to photograph boys in bed with me and talk about sex, sexuality and relationships…

machismo.
butch.
masc 4 masc.

all terms gay men use to help define their sex lives… their preferences… (please go read my post on micro aggressions here)

Well recently, I encountered a strange situation… I was basically told I wasn’t someone that their parents could respect. 
It boiled down to the fact I wasn’t latino, and I wasn’t “masculine” by latino definition…
0_0   (asian shocked face)

So, we talked about… and well it boiled down to one thing: MACHISMO.
It’s kind of a big deal in a lot of cultures. In Latino culture (which I am surrounded by) masculinity is stressed in three major areas: job, sexuality and family. So, after examining these three areas, and factoring in all of the other research I have done around gay relationships and gay men… I have come to this blog post…

If masculinity is defined by superficial appearance, by mannerisms and by sexual orientation…
Than why be gay at all? When did it become acceptable that being a good person isn’t good enough?
Well… here is what I have come to learn when dating latinos…

 being “butch” is the first deciding factor if they are into you. What is butch?
ABS, facial hair, lack of fashion, pretty boi swagg…
Ironically, no one should wear pretty boi swagg, and it is even worse when you see men in their 30’s with the hat, the plaid, the chain, the jeans, the sneakers… Unless you are Ricardo Tisci’s muse aka billionaire Kanye West… Grow up please…

Being butch also passes the question if you can pass as straight… note to self: everyone straight or gay gets their eyebrows done… no one should have a unibrow. period. But it seems, that if you have a slight arch.. you are femme. Which means we need to call the boys from Jersey Shore and inform them that they are femme gay.

Conclusion:
Anytime we hyper-sexualize, or hyper-masculinize someone we are feeding into the original conflict that homosexuals and heterosexuals faced during the 70’s. Whether it is heterosexual or homosexual, anytime we overcompensate by hyper-sexualizing someone we are feeding the social concept that race determines sexuality… which would be wrong. Placing a stress on masculinity is just another form of sexism, just this time it is homosexual sexism? If gender roles are given based on someone’s masculinity, then we are still stuck pre women’s rights… and makes me wonder have we even made any progress as a human race?

I’m a respectable person. period.
It doesn’t matter my race, my gender role, my mannerisms, my self expression…
I don’t judge other men based on the above, I am the last one to claim masculinity- but for those of you who constantly enforce that you are masculine… what are you overcompensating for?

Thank You to the guy who posed for me… 


If you want to hop in bed with me… 
shoot me an e-mail!!

It has been too long…


I think it might be fear…

I know it has been a while since I have blogged, and well it has been a really stressful month, and a month of change. We are already halfway through the year and this year has escaped so fast. I have been spending more and more time in Los Angeles in hopes that SOCIAL CULTURE will keep growing and doing well… And that is what I am afraid of … what happens if we stop growing??

I am afraid that every choice I make might lead to failure, or how it will effect our company. 



But pretty much my life has been on the go.

Here are some of my thoughts so far… reflecting back on the first half of the year…

1. Relationships… 
Not everyone is meant for them, or ready for them at any given moment and that timing is everything.


2. Fashion…
Fashion has led me to meet amazing people and have amazing nights of runway shows, and fashion talk.
(Santiago, Myself, Dia: Editor at Splash Magazine, Martin,Nyjo, Dominque, Sandra: Editor at Hope of Women at the EXPOSED fashion shows at the TENTEN WILSHIRE rooftop)


3. Friendships…
Just because you have been friends with someone your whole life doesn’t mean that particular friendship was meant to last forever. Sadly, some friendships end, but new ones come into your life and are cultivated because as people we change. 
(martin and myself at Melanie’s Good Ol’ Fashioned Fun baby shower for Landon)


4. On Being Gay…
Being gay doesn’t define a person, but during gay pride people can come together and if you just meet the person, have worked with the person, or have known that person your whole life that there is something to relate to… Your sexuality… and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter and in retrospect of gay pride, I realize… being gay doesn’t define myself, but it defines a lot of other people.
(Osito, Memo, Philip, Ceasar, Rene, Myself and Mocte and Long Beach Pride 2012)


5. Me…
I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I know what I want out of my life, and I think I know who I am, and am becoming as a person and for the first time in my life it seems very clear.
(Me, photographed by Alexandra Rose on her new Hasselblad)