Just Another Day?

When it is cold outside, rainy and the clouds are so hazy that the fog has become a part of your every breath- I close my eyes and suddenly I am transported back to a time when, well it wasn’t this hard. My life has become hectic and confusing.
Proust talks about the little moments, and I cherish them. 

I love my job, and what is wonderful about my job is my life is slowly being documented frame after frame… Well at least what is inspiring me in my life at that moment. 

Does anyone even read this?

Lately, I have been extremely down… I feel like if I write about it- things might change for me.
My heart is broken, and the world seems to be weighing down on me. I can’t sleep at night, and when I do fall asleep it is usually preceded by tears or some emotional diarrhea that I can’t control. If you have ever been in a serious, committed, failed relationship – you know what I am talking about. Men should be like good clothes- make sure they fit, and you should have to pay much for them.
So, here I am in an ill fitting tank top, and shorts that are two sizes two big- single and alone.
I’m trying to move on, and by recommendation of a friend I have downloaded all the essentials needed for a single gay man. I sit online and scroll though these apps looking at profile after profile. Most of these men are gross- and none measure up to my ex. It is like trying to trade up a car- well at least it seems that way. I try talking to guys but most of them bore me.
I have avoided my closest friends, and I have tried to get around from talking to people about it because I’m so tired of hearing, “you deserve better” or the wonderful, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Obviously. Thank you for a slap in the face- because I know his friend’s are saying the same thing, and then the latter just makes me look stupid…
Work- work has been extremely stressful and it is taking a toll on everyone.
I love my job- i really do, and I know that it is going to have its ups and downs but it seems that all my hard work, my effort, my time, and everything I have sacrificed isn’t paying off..
There is a million things going on in the world and I feel like I have become obsessed with the lack of personal life and the dictating world of my work. I don’t know – blahhhh
sucky post. sorry.