The Rating System

Posted on December 28, 2014 Posted in anthro, asian, davidjwking, gaysian, instagay, life, los angeles, raitings, social culture, social studies, the life, yellowlikeasianLeave a comment

So, recently I was exploring Social Media, and dating apps through iPhone for thegaymansguide.com. And there are tons of options out there, like tons. When they say there is an app for everything, there really is. As I was exploring these apps, I realized that most of these companies do exactly what I do for work; facilitating discourse about beauty. Now, social media has changed everything about the fashion industry because with apps like IG, everyone is their own content editor, re-toucher, and creative director. Apps like Gindr and Jack’d have started a way to GPS dating, while other apps cater to fetishes, daddies, and bears. Then, after all this research, I decided to look deeper into the rating system and realized that by nature we review, and rate.

While most social media facilitates a worldwide popularity contest, and there is some good that comes of it, it makes me wonder what makes someone popular online? From stupid videos, to talented artists, to cats, it makes me wonder what our culture has shifted to with this era of technology? Recently, I cleaned out my facebook and deleted close to 600 “friends” because I really didn’t know much about them besides meeting them at a work event, or exchanging small chat via social media. As you are going through your friends list you start evaluating relationships in your life, and it doesn’t help that I was doing this while exploring the subjectivity of beauty and how it is rated…

So, via grindr, jack’d, and scruff I was simply asking people to rate me. It was an easy task. On average I hit about a 6, which isn’t awful I suppose. But, when I asked what they would rate themselves they said they couldn’t. Ironic? Low self esteem? Or if someone were to respond with a 10, would the perception be that they are overconfident and a little cocky? Now, via facebook and my friends, I asked them to rate me, and out of courtesy most of them rated me a 10, this was followed by a dialogue about how beauty is subjective, and is this a cry for help? Another point of confusion on all of our behalves.

While we sit in theaters judging movies, ballets, performances, or sitting in your car reviewing music, we are trying to decipher what is good and is disliked, by personal taste. As we slowly narrow down our options it makes me wonder what we might be missing out on. In a recent conversation with someone via a social media app, he asked what I was doing with friends, and when I said I was meeting them for drinks, he then replied with, “Don’t you want to spend quality time with them?” Don’t get me wrong, I understood where he was coming from, but it made me question how the rating system/ our preferences can create misconceptions.

I know I have blogged a lot about preference being micro aggressors towards racism, and as preference can cause to missing out on things, or isolation, or loss of experience, it makes me wonder how we would rate ourselves?

If on looks alone the world perceives me on the average, then how do they view my work?

If by intelligence, charm, and other personal qualities like humor make our number go up, than definitely our faults make us go down. And, I don’t know about you, but as you are your harshest critic, my number would fall below average…

So like the clichés stand: don’t judge a book by it’s cover. First impressions are everything.

Be careful on the next time you find yourself rating someone in your head, or disclosing your preference. You might be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, the love of your life, or simply a really good friend.

And it might just be time to put down social media….

the boys who work/werk…

Posted on November 3, 2014 Posted in bff, gay boys, gay model, gays, gaysian, gbf, life, my life, social culture, social culture ieLeave a comment

Things that make me happy

Posted on October 19, 2014 Posted in blog, gaysian, gaysian sex, life, yellow like asian, yellowlikeasianLeave a comment

Sometimes, a day at the fair, ice cream, your mister sister, and good hair days are enough.

Shooting your favorite flower with one of the most amazing person I have ever met in my life.

My job.

Deep in thought… kinda

Posted on September 26, 2012 Posted in gaysian, gaysian sex, life, satc, sex and the city, smokingLeave a comment

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like at 25?

Well, here I am at 25.

I am definitely not where I thought I would, but in some ways that is a good thing, I think.

I never thought I would an editor.

I never thought I would be running Social Culture.

I didn’t know I was going to have a blog.

I never would have thought that I would be living in California…

In some act of fate though, here I am.

I am working full time as a fashion editor, and I am loving it.

So I don’t have a husband or kids, and I am far from a stay at home “wife”

And that is okay, I think.

But what if I still want that?

When will I get to have everything?

It is in these moments when I wonder what it would be like if I had a two year old in my life. What it would be like if I was still living on the east coast?

—

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Posted on January 30, 2012 Posted in dreams, extremely loud and incredibly close, fashion, gay love, life, love, passion, workLeave a comment

I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t on purpose but I could feel the tears constantly running down my face last night at the movie theater. The majority of the audience was over 40, but there I sat with my boyfriend, top row dead center, like I always do, crying. I don’t know if it was just one thing but the combination of the incredible actors, the brilliantly written story, and the way it was filmed- well it just triggered something inside me.

We all are searching for something or someone at all times of our lives. It is actually kind of funny if you think about it. We search for our keys, a destination, a person, the love of our lives, we are always finding ways to complete ourselves, or make sense of life- sometimes forgetting that life is just a series of journeys and searches.

I recently got to spend an afternoon at the lake with Jorge, and we sat on the rocks watching absolutely nothing, that was nice.

Jorge and I get to do a lot of things together, and it is nice- It’s nicer when you have your boss telling you that you have to balance out your personal life with work…

But what happens when you are incredibly close to greatness?

What happens when you are so close to achieving greatness, and fulfilling your dreams? Everything I have worked so hard for, everything that we have been waiting for is finally coming together and capturing the greatest moment of your life? For the first time ever, I feel like my life is fully together. It feels like this is the moment I have been waiting for. The moment that will define me as an individual, as a man and as a name in fashion.

I have great friends:

Work that inspires me daily:

A man that loves me:

I get to work with a woman who is greater than more talented than she will ever give herself credit for:

I just feel like the world is right.

How it happens? I don’t know.

Posted on January 16, 2012 Posted in life, life sucks, melanieLeave a comment

Bad things happen to good people. It is a fact of life, whether it is deserved or not.

Good things happen to bad people, as ironic and how much I despise that notion, there is truth in it.

I have to to understand that life throws you curve balls and that life in general is “hard.”

Here is what I don’t understand- how at the end of the day, the bad and the good we, people can justify everything by saying, “God has a plan.”

Kind of a crappy way of comforting someone.

Subject: Melanie

Profession: My Sister From Another Mister

Story: She Kicks Ass

Wish: For her to be healthy and happy-

Why?: She deserves it.

I don’t believe a lot of people deserve anything. Everyone deserves to be respected, loved and cherished.

She deserves more.

Universe, get your shit together and make it happen- or I will be extremely upset.

Life Happens. That’s not an excuse…

Posted on January 15, 2012 Posted in fashion, friendship, gaysian, life, NETWORK, relationships, the devil wears prada, yellow like asianLeave a comment

January 15, we are halfway through the month and as most people’s new year resolutions are failing or forgotten- mine are ever present. I am extremely happy. And I am busting my ass off to promote SOCIAL CULTURE.

Today was kind of a hectic day, between juggling clients, driving to Los Angeles for a music video shoot, and then coming home to find a massive amount of e-mails waiting for me- I am now playing catch up. To quote, again Nigel from the Devil Wears Prada, “Let me know when your entire life goes up in smoke: then it’s time for a promotion.”

And I hate to admit it- but it seems to be true. You have to sacrifice a lot in this industry to be successful, but I think you pick and choose what you sacrifice- and on that note, the people around you have a large part in this. If they are understanding than the communication between friends might be less frequent. If they are loving they will support you 100 percent. If they truly were a large part of your life than they would try to get involved in your “new” life. If they wanted to be selfish and blame you for not trying- that is their fault. Life is so short, and recently I was reminded of that.

So, adding to my list of resolutions and goals: Relationships, Friendships and Networking.

The Young and The Rich

Posted on January 6, 2012 Posted in beautiful people, fame, famous, life, models, our generation, rich, small businessLeave a comment

Young, talented, beautiful, famous and the rich. All things that American pop culture has grasped, capitalized on and has portrayed through visual media as the only way to live. We think that being a celebrity or famous is going to cure our problems, and instantly we will be dripping in Dior and waltzing in Oscar De La Renta. Don’t get me wrong, even I dream about wearing vintage Halston, having a vintage Chanel broach and owning a couture piece by every major designer that has mattered. But the reality of it all is what is portrayed through today’s visual media and pop culture is something most of us will never become- and in reality, who would want to become that?

We joke about selling out, we talk about the “Miranda’s” of fashion, we gossip about the girls who wear their Jimmy Choos to work, and we drool over the men in Dolce and Gabanna Ads. I would like to think that all of our lives were like this, but when it comes down to it- I like my life, and as my new year resolution was being happy– I am.

But, in 40 years when people look back at our generation what are people going to say about us? That we were all vain, obsessive, and shallow? That it was more important to wear Prada than it was to help out your struggling mom neighbor? It has come to my attention that in our generation vanity and fame have become more important than humanity. That people would rather be famous and nutty like Lindsay Lohan than be recognized as a good person in their own community, however big that may be.

When the arts are suffering, and when fashion is falling apart the majority of the public still wants this glamourous life to be handed to them – and they forget that their local grocery store or clothing store is closing because of sales, losing jobs- and in turn most of us are bitching about the economy – when we won’t even support local designers, local stores, and local small business owners. If you can’t afford Chanel you buy Lanvin, and when you can’t afford Lanvin you shop at H&M, American Apparel, and Urban Outfitters, and when you can’t afford that you go to Forever 21–

Why aren’t we content with being proud locals. Why do we become obsessed with Hollywood’s lifestyle? Sex and the City? The Devil Wears Prada? Are we that miserable and unhappy with our own lives that we have to live through someone else’s?

Jumping off the Deep End

Posted on November 30, 2011 Posted in be happy, existing, gaysian, happines, life, me, new year's resolution, self discovery1 Comment

Me. This time Last Year

This upcoming year is carefully being planned out. I expect great things out of this next year and I have to dedicate my entire existence to it. The majority of my life, I have always been a go getter. When I see something I want, I do everything in my power to get it. I am smart and realistic about these things, but lately I have become almost complacent with my life. After a series of recent events, I am able to look back on my life over the past year and realize that I devoted a lot of my time this year to what I like to call distractions…

Let’s clarify this year… At the beginning of this year, yes I was kind of engaged, and no it didn’t work out. At the beginning of this year, the magazine (www.socialculture.com) was struggling, and I myself was losing my own vision, a vision in which I created. At the beginning of this year I was kind of lost and confused, and really didn’t have a strong idea of what was going to happen. My mentor in life had broken her ankle and I took on teaching all of her dance classes and choreographing an entire hour’s worth of dances. By June, it was decided that we were going to remodel our studios in Perris, CA and after a month of hard work on July 1, 2011 we re-opened SOCIAL CULTURE IE, a photography studio. It took us until Mid October to have the On-Line magazine up and running, and currently we still are not fully functional- in terms of becoming a fashion hub, but we will be.

As the year comes to an end I am able to think that every event, every meeting and every encounter I have had has let me realize three great New Year’s Resolutions:

    1. Be happy.
    2. Launch SOCIAL CULTURE to a broader audience and be more consistent, regardless of the efforts, and time it will take.
    3. Start campaigning to create a performing arts center in the Inland Empire that will help spread the    education, and the tools needed for young individuals to further their chances in their respective fields.

So what is next? How do you go about doing all of this in a matter of twelve months? Not to mention, work on my novel and find a way to get it published. Where to begin, where to begin? The scary part isn’t being ambitious, the scary part is carving out my own path in life. There isn’t a book I can pick up that will tell me exactly how to be successful, or how to dominate the world of fashion and somehow influence or cultivate the arts in our communities. This is all definitely something I am doing from scratch, experimenting and have less than a year to do.

Gaysian On The Go

Posted on November 29, 2011 Posted in asian, fashion, gay, gaysian, life, literature, loveLeave a comment

So the for the past five days I have sat down and banged out a short novel, have done eight photo shoots, and have gone out numerous occasions. What the crazy part about my life, is I get to watch my life be documented on film by amazing photographer Alexandra Rose, and produce great work for SOCIAL CULTURE. This year is closing out with a bang.