Just Another Day?

When it is cold outside, rainy and the clouds are so hazy that the fog has become a part of your every breath- I close my eyes and suddenly I am transported back to a time when, well it wasn’t this hard. My life has become hectic and confusing.
Proust talks about the little moments, and I cherish them. 

I love my job, and what is wonderful about my job is my life is slowly being documented frame after frame… Well at least what is inspiring me in my life at that moment. 

flashback, flash dance, and supermen?

while I am every unsure about how many people actually read this… 

i thought about posting another blog in length… not just a snippet of goodness…

1. i recently had a flashback from middle school, and well I wasn’t the most popular kid, or the cool kid, i was still myself. maybe a little bit in denial about my sexuality, well not really- I just didn’t know better. But I had a flashback of my first day of middle school. Sixth grade… it was a rough year… I didn’t end up going to the middle school of my choice, since somehow the middle school i was assigned to had “high academic” classes… but regardless I got my schedule and homeroom for me was in the girls locker room… Luckily for me, another kid who was in the “gifted” program at our elementary school was also at this middle school and we happened to share a homeroom (J. McQuain) ,… I seriously don’t know where the hell that kid went but he was gone after like the third week of school. Anyways, I remember being at that school and remembering how I would have to live up to my brother’s coolness, my sister’s smarts, and my other sister’s popularity… trust me- it wasn’t easy… Almost every teacher already knew me through association, hell half of them were at my siblings weddings… With that being said, middle school was no easy for me… luckily i found…. 

2. flash dance… I remember while being at middle school I asked Miss Riggs, our new on faculty dance teacher, why she never pursued dance outside of college… she told me because she never was told she could… that is super depressing… I mean she didn’t have the best body type, and I never saw her really dance but still… the thought of someone telling you that you don’t have the chance in dance is horrific… trust me- it has happened to be me like 4 times… HAH! proved them wrong… anyways my thought process then led me to….

3. what if I will always be alone in life.. that I was never going to be with someone, and that feeling of insecurity and unawareness from jr high will always haunt me. As if I have an expectation of a relationship but can never actually achieve it…. Where is superman to save me when I need him?


Instead of doing laundry and housework I have decided to post again.
1. coffee reminds me of smoking.
2. smoking reminds me of how cool I think I am, and keeps me skinny.
3.being cool makes me feel sexy.
3.A Being skinny makes me miss ballet.
4. being sexy makes me want to have sex.
5. ballet is sexy.
6. ballet reminds me of teaching.
7. I need coffee to teach. So I am stuck