So, recently I was exploring Social Media, and dating apps through iPhone for thegaymansguide.com. And there are tons of options out there, like tons. When they say there is an app for everything, there really is. As I was exploring these apps, I realized that most of these companies do exactly what I do for work; facilitating discourse about beauty. Now, social media has changed everything about the fashion industry because with apps like IG, everyone is their own content editor, re-toucher, and creative director. Apps like Gindr and Jack’d have started a way to GPS dating, while other apps cater to fetishes, daddies, and bears. Then, after all this research, I decided to look deeper into the rating system and realized that by nature we review, and rate.

 

While most social media facilitates a worldwide popularity contest, and there is some good that comes of it, it makes me wonder what makes someone popular online? From stupid videos, to talented artists, to cats, it makes me wonder what our culture has shifted to with this era of technology? Recently, I cleaned out my facebook and deleted close to 600 “friends” because I really didn’t know much about them besides meeting them at a work event, or exchanging small chat via social media. As you are going through your friends list you start evaluating relationships in your life, and it doesn’t help that I was doing this while exploring the subjectivity of beauty and how it is rated…

 

So, via grindr, jack’d, and scruff I was simply asking people to rate me. It was an easy task. On average I hit about a 6, which isn’t awful I suppose. But, when I asked what they would rate themselves they said they couldn’t. Ironic? Low self esteem? Or if someone were to respond with a 10, would the perception be that they are overconfident and a little cocky? Now, via facebook and my friends, I asked them to rate me, and out of courtesy most of them rated me a 10, this was followed by a dialogue about how beauty is subjective, and is this a cry for help? Another point of confusion on all of our behalves.

 

While we sit in theaters judging movies, ballets, performances, or sitting in your car reviewing music, we are trying to decipher what is good and is disliked, by personal taste. As we slowly narrow down our options it makes me wonder what we might be missing out on. In a recent conversation with someone via a social media app, he asked what I was doing with friends, and when I said I was meeting them for drinks, he then replied with, “Don’t you want to spend quality time with them?” Don’t get me wrong, I understood where he was coming from, but it made me question how the rating system/ our preferences can create misconceptions.

 

I know I have blogged a lot about preference being micro aggressors towards racism, and as preference can cause to missing out on things, or isolation, or loss of experience, it makes me wonder how we would rate ourselves?

 

If on looks alone the world perceives me on the average, then how do they view my work?

If by intelligence, charm, and other personal qualities like humor make our number go up, than definitely our faults make us go down. And, I don’t know about you, but as you are your harshest critic, my number would fall below average…

 

So like the clichés stand: don’t judge a book by it’s cover.  First impressions are everything.

Be careful on the next time you find yourself rating someone in your head, or disclosing your preference. You might be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, the love of your life, or simply a really good friend.

And it might just be time to put down social media….