I have always envisioned this moment in my life- this upcoming year. I was supposed to be married to the man that I love, and I was supposed to have a kid, preferably a boy. This year, would have been the year that I would be looking for a house with you, the year that we would be going to have our last adventure before parenthood. It was the year that I was supposed to quit ballet and focus on other things, and most of all I was supposed to be different. I am not sorry that none of these things happened because I have found something new, something better. Despite everything that didn’t happen, this year is still going to be a great year for me. It is the year of the water dragon, it is the year I turn twenty-five, and the last five years of my superficial “gay life.”
When I was younger, I used to think that twenty five was going to be the year Jason and I made the fortune 500.
When I was a little older I thought that 25 was going to be the year I graduated from law school.
When I was in high school, I thought that my ballet career would be ending and I could go back to school.
And now, I think about all those times I spent thinking about this upcoming year. This year that should define me as a man, or as an individual has been slowly spread out through out all the years prior. I didn’t realize I would be done with high school by 15, and walk at 16. I didn’t realize that ballet would happen so quickly and end just as fast. I didn’t realize that by 22 I would be designing in Los Angeles, and by 24 run my own aesthetics firm and magazine. I didn’t know any of this- and now I have realized that not knowing is kind of the exciting part.
I wonder what 30 will be like. I wonder what tomorrow will be like. I am not sure of anything anymore but I am sure of one thing:
Being Asian, being a Korean-Adoptee, being gay, and being a contributing and functioning member of society allows me to to accept things for what they are and being an individual that stands on his own is the greatest reward that life has given me.
My voice is small right now, and I know I have affected hundreds of people’s lives – but this year I am going to make that number even bigger. As I am planning big things for SOCIAL CULTURE, and I am planning a performing arts school, this is truly going to be a year that I will make a difference in my own life. A difference that wasn’t expected, but it is welcomed, and I hope that this year is going to be the year where I get to say at 25 I am happy.