Boy: Azns are gross

Boy: Azns are gross
Me: ummm okay, then why message me?
Boy: You are asian?
Me: Yes.
Boy: that suxs
Me: Not really
This is my never ending dialogue with myself regarding race:

1. Happy moment in my life: Liu Wen is the first Asian female to walk Victoria’s Secret Annual Broadcasted Runway Show.

As Asian models are carving their way into the world of fashion, as a result of the new recent wave of Asian Designers, I feel like it is important to embrace this moment. When Hye Park graced the runway for Prada (only the second Asian Model to walk for Prada) I knew that change was among us. When the rise of Asian designers took flight, I knew that this was Asia’s chance to shine. Along with the economy, as China’s demand for luxury is skyrocketing, it only makes sense that Asian Models are going to be on the rise. As Asia represents over 1/3 of the 18 world wide publications, this is our time to shine.

2. Sad moment in my life: Once again, the gay community focuses the efforts in HIV/AIDS it neglects education, race, and identity and I am left with the following thoughts:

Today is Global AIDS awareness day, and in part the gay community uses this day to expand the passing of knowledge of HIV and AIDS to new generations, and peers. What saddens me, is on this day where AIDS, affecting the global population (both straight and gay), the idea of race comes my mind. If you are gay, and have ever visited sites like: Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Manhunt or have Apps like: Grindr, BoyAhoy, Scruff, Downlink etc etc etc- You probably have unknowingly taken a part in passive racism.

Racism exists. It has been less than 40 years since the United State fully abandoned the Jim Crow laws, and ripple affect of the passing of knowledge still exists. I recently was on Grindr and had my first experience with someone who affiliated with the Nazi belief system and had the Nazi flag tattooed to his arm. He said he didn’t have a problem with me, because I wasn’t Jewish. Regardless, it was awkward and uncomfortable.  Gay men, and others have now substituted the words racism for personal preference.  The idea of personal preference, stemming from the idea that one’s individuals thoughts, sexual attractions come from the context in which we grew up in. Sex is an instinct, so if we are born with the homosexual desire- it is a pure instinct, a raw act… problem:

We are constantly arguing if being gay is genetic or it is something we subconsciously choose. That argument will go on and on until proof among the scientific community accepts it. (Which, lets not give them too much credit as they thought African Americans and Homosexuals were their own species for a very long time, or that the world was flat) But, what we can argue is that we subconsciously develop racism through our sexual preferences. It starts with labels, labels that are spoon fed to us from an early age. The government encourages racism as it tries to label its citizens. This starts with the state’s standardized testing in which we mark our ethnicity in a little a bubble. A little bubble that will be the start of the unconscious choice of  passive racism.

Racism in education has always existed, and still to this day racial statistics in a school factors into the idea of a school’s ranking. UCI (University of Chinese Immigrants) UCLA (University of Caucasians Lost Amongst Asians), and that the top 3 school in the United States are influenced by the current student body that is more than 40% Asian. Racism in education always creates the downfall to other minorities, placing them in lower percentiles due to socioeconomic status or context. Here, in the education system we are taught that racism is wrong, yet as we move into adolescence our identity is constantly being defined for us through our education. An education that is flawed, and passive racism becomes more evident as we apply to the Higher Education system.

As we constantly are developing, as we become individuals sexuality becomes a driving force in our lives. It is always in the back of our minds and affects the way we dress, the places we go out, and for some a recreational activity or sport. What I am confused about, is how a communities that have been repressed constantly dividing themselves, based on the idea of race. Every culture has a form of racism, it may stem from a historical grudge, or current politics, but regardless- racism continues in our lives, and we neglect it. We don’t haves signs in our faces, now we just do it online, and we use the word preference, attraction and lifestyle choice.

I understand that sexual attraction is the result of context, history and culture- but it has become something that defines an individual, and by defining yourself as a particular individual embracing one’s sexuality, it just seems ironic. I have never seen so much “personal preference” among gay men, now more than ever. It is funny that gays argue humanity, and that being human is enough to justify equality- yet from one gay man to another being a human is not enough; body type, ethnicity, dick size, and the idea of masculinity and femininity are more important.

When did being a different race make you less of a person, sexually?

Trust me, I know and understand that race factors into everything… But from one gay to another, how does someone decide that a race is not good enough for them? 

So, please- if I am not good enough for you because I am Asian – remember I am a human, with a story and a history – and you don’t know how I define myself… I choose to define myself as yellow, like asian. 

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