flashback, flash dance, and supermen?

while I am every unsure about how many people actually read this… 

i thought about posting another blog in length… not just a snippet of goodness…

1. i recently had a flashback from middle school, and well I wasn’t the most popular kid, or the cool kid, i was still myself. maybe a little bit in denial about my sexuality, well not really- I just didn’t know better. But I had a flashback of my first day of middle school. Sixth grade… it was a rough year… I didn’t end up going to the middle school of my choice, since somehow the middle school i was assigned to had “high academic” classes… but regardless I got my schedule and homeroom for me was in the girls locker room… Luckily for me, another kid who was in the “gifted” program at our elementary school was also at this middle school and we happened to share a homeroom (J. McQuain) ,… I seriously don’t know where the hell that kid went but he was gone after like the third week of school. Anyways, I remember being at that school and remembering how I would have to live up to my brother’s coolness, my sister’s smarts, and my other sister’s popularity… trust me- it wasn’t easy… Almost every teacher already knew me through association, hell half of them were at my siblings weddings… With that being said, middle school was no easy for me… luckily i found…. 

2. flash dance… I remember while being at middle school I asked Miss Riggs, our new on faculty dance teacher, why she never pursued dance outside of college… she told me because she never was told she could… that is super depressing… I mean she didn’t have the best body type, and I never saw her really dance but still… the thought of someone telling you that you don’t have the chance in dance is horrific… trust me- it has happened to be me like 4 times… HAH! proved them wrong… anyways my thought process then led me to….

3. what if I will always be alone in life.. that I was never going to be with someone, and that feeling of insecurity and unawareness from jr high will always haunt me. As if I have an expectation of a relationship but can never actually achieve it…. Where is superman to save me when I need him?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s